Thursday, April 21, 2011

Breastfeeding, Teething, & Weaning

Today has been one trying day! Chelsea is cutting 2 bottom teeth and has been very cranky these past few days. Putting her in her own bed at night has gone out the window (thanks to teething) All she does is scream her head off until we take her out and even then she still cries. I'm still getting clogged milk ducts, in fact I have one right now but that was my fault since I went too long between feedings on that side. I am Tired! Just so tired! and I know I've said this many many times but I am starting the weaning process again!

I have such a problem with making a plan and sticking to it but my plan this time around is to only pump during the day and offer the bottle. I have a feeling that part of the reason she wont take a bottle is because she is not hungry. Unlike most 9 months olds, Chelsea is drinking all night long (thanks to bed sharing) and she probably gets all the milk she needs at night. During the day she is not too interested in nursing any more anyway. I feel like most of the time I'm "forcing" her to nurse and she just ends up sucking a couple of time then pulls off. The only bad thing about pumping is that I feel like my pump doesn't fully empty me out. I can feel my breasts getting full after just 2 hours but I am hoping this might help reduce my milk supply. This is going to be such a challenge but if I truly want to wean I need to stick to it! I'm tired of feeling so unhappy all the time, I'm tired of being stressed out. I only have a couple of months left before I go back to work and I want to enjoy this time with my kids and not have to worry about my breastfeeding issues anymore! Okay that's all for today! Thanks for listening to my venting! UGH!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Breastfeeding Update

I never thought that we would make it this far but here we are 9 months in and still breastfeeding. This has been one tough journey. I knew that breastfeeding wouldn't be easy but I thought that was only for the first few weeks. I on the other hand struggled for the first 8 weeks then things were great! Breastfeeding was amazingly easy and I loved it. Then, at 4 month in, I got my first blocked milk duct and they kept recurring after that. I have probably had 10 or more.

My original goal was to BF for 6 months but when we got to 6 months Chelsea was WAY too attached and would not take a bottle. We tried to wean a few times but having a baby that will not take a bottle makes it very difficult and we would give up every time. Every time I get a new blocked milk duct I break down and cry and say I'm DONE!!! but how can I be done when Chelsea wont drink from anything but me? I feel so alone! I feel like the only person going through this and I have no support. It's funny because in the beginning I fought SO hard to increase my milk supply to get Chelsea to be OFF the bottle and now here I am wishing I could go back in time and do it all over again. If I knew then what I know now, I honestly would have stopped BF back then. Breastfeeding has now become a negative thing for me and I never really loved it in the first place. I don't feel the wonderful bond it brings because all I can do is worry. "I wonder when I will get another blocked milk duct" "I wonder how long it will last" "I wonder if it will become worse" "I wonder if there is something else going on" "why is it only happening on my one breast"...those are just some of the things that constantly run through my head.

So here I am with another blocked milk duct and taking antibiotics for possible Thrush but nobody really knows if that's what I have. It's frustrating not having answers. I have some symptoms for Thrush, Blocked milk duct and Mastitis but no idea what one it could be (if any). It has been a week now since I started feeling the pain and I really hope it goes away soon! As soon as this is gone I will be starting the weaning process again by taking away the "dinner time" feeding. Chelsea now drinks every 4 hours and all night long, so my goal is to only be nursing at night and then hopefully cutting that out too by the time I got back to work. Wish me luck! I need it.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Easter Picture Frames

A few weeks ago we had the kids pictures taken for Easter and I thought it would be fun to make picture frames for their grandparents to display them in. We made a trip to the dollar store and bought everything you see here (minus the hot glue gun) and we purchased the frames from the dollar store as well. So this project was very inexpensive and very fun.

Blake picked what and where he wanted things to go and I put the glue in place. They turned out so cute that I wish I would have got him to make one for me :)